Kids and planes
Categories: Toddlers, Places to go
As I type this I'm on a plane traveling to San Francisco for BlogHer, and seated behind me is a small boy, sitting between his parents. I'd guess he's somewhere in that troublesome zone between 18 and 24 months, which is to say he's got a fair amount of control over his running and screeching abilities but is clearly still unpredictably Godzilla-esque in his motor functions and generally seems to be, well, let's not mince words: a major pain in the ass to deal with.
He's kicking the seat of the fellow sitting next to me (earning his mother a grumpy complaint: "Hey, can you keep him from doing that?"), he's wailing almost nonstop, he's whining and crabbing and his high-pitched irritating voice is causing all of passengers within the nearest five rows to roll their eyes and shift uncomfortably in their seats.
This is the sort of seating arrangement that has always annoyed me in the past: you pay hundreds of dollars for the dubious privilege of being treated like a frothy-mouthed terrorist as you stagger through various unpleasant security measures until you're finally squashed into your rigid chair, at which point the person in front of you lowers their seat into your lap, you're served a packet of pretzel salt as a meal (if you're lucky), and your flight is delayed several hours, giving you plenty of time to appreciate the screaming snot-nosed rugrat at your side, fully engaged in the activity of making your travel time even more miserable than it already was.
This time, though, I just feel sorry for the parents, and I feel bad for the kid, who's surely bored and cramped and just as uncomfortable as the rest of us -- his only crime is that he's too young to socially conform, to suck it up and sit quietly for several hours while his bladder threatens to explode, his eardrums bulge painfully, and his brain slowly atrophies from boredom without even the benefit of an overpriced gin-and-tonic to help the time go by.
I am, however, unbelievably thankful my own kids aren't with me, and that I don't have to deal with air travel and small kids any time soon. There but for the grace of etc, etc, etc. I'd like to think I could stop my own kid from kicking seats or acting like a miniscule jackass, but, ah, I can't guarantee I could -- not without a straitjacket, anyway.
How about you? As a parent, do unruly kids on planes drive you nuts? Or do you feel more sympathetic now?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Heather 7-18-2008 @ 8:58AM
Whenever someone else's child is misbehaving, or really let's just say being a kid, I'm always sympathetic. That is unless the parents do nothing to try to remedy the situation and there are plenty of those kind of parents. Mainly when it's another child raising hell, I'm just glad it's not mine doing it.
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Sabrina 7-18-2008 @ 9:36AM
Children behaving like children (including misbehaving) has never bothered me, even as a self-absorbed teen. I guess what bothers me is overly harsh adults WITH the children, or overly harsh comments from other self-absorbed people. I panic like the world is about to end when my kids mess up in public, especially on an airplane, but I usually look with pity and understanding on someone else whose child is crying, kicking, or asking loud repeated questions. I've even asked several mothers if they'd like any help, always to be turned down for fear that I'm a baby-stealing pedophile, however, at least I offered, and I hope that helps in some way.
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David Robinson 7-18-2008 @ 9:55PM
I too feel deep sympathy for the parent of a misbehaving child and offer to help. Most parents realise that you cannot abduct their child on an aeroplane and are grateful for a little break while you walk their child up and down the aisle or play some sort of game with them.
Keep on trying to be helpful.
David Robinson
Christy 7-18-2008 @ 10:50AM
Funny that you blog on this...because I just took a Fourth of July trip from Orlando, FL to Oakland, NJ with a two year old. Let me tell you, YIKES!!!! The last time I traveled with her she was maybe 16-18 months, and I used the benedryl trick which I got my peditricians okay on if I only I gave her less than what the actual dosage called for. It worked on the way home, but not on the way there.
My biggest desire was to be a mother and I got to tell you, it has been my biggest challenge. I am not the kind of person who really cares about what other people think but I can not stand how much we parents are judged. Sometimes I feel like I am super-mom when dealing with temper tantrums and trying to decipher what triggered it. On this trip, she was cutting her last set of molars in the very back. I appreciate those who sympathize and I wish there were more people who take Sabrina's approach but the fact of the matter is we are sometimes placed between a rock and a hard place. If we don't calm our child down and make them behave then we are bad parents and our children are spawns of satan. I challenge anyone with out children to try and reason with a child between the ages of...hmmm birth and 3. Yeah, let's see how much their fuse runs. I'm sure there might be some who will put me in my place but let's all not get too cocky. I always said that when I'm a parent I will do it this way and that...and when you try it and doesn't work, you are dealt a harsh reality that you may not know it all.
Now, between waking my child up at the crack ass of dawn, going through security where they think you could possibly bring weapons and such on the plane maybe in the orafices of your child or something, have every little thing you own that you are carrying with you checked, waiting for the flight and then getting in your seat only to wait just a little longer and then maybe a little more longer only to actually take off 45 minutes after your original scheduled takeoff...there are some adults who act just like a two year old when this happens to them and they expect an actual two year old to take it like a freaking sundae. I have never felt so judged in my life. I think that I am a decent if not great parent and to feel like you are the most dumbest parent in the world unworthy of having children because mine acted up and pissed of a fellow flyer really does nothing for me or my child. Unfortunately what happens is that I get so uptight and short that my child can feel it and she becomes uptight and cranky too because she knows mommy is not herself.
But, to help those who may have this problem. My carry on bag has nothing but things that would entertain my child. I have a mini DVD player, several toys, coloring books, snacks...things that will keep her busy and I actually do them with her and don't rely on her entertaining herself. I even wrapped up some dollar store items so that when she was really testy I would tell her to preform a certain task like cleaning up the crayons or to stop kicking the gentleman's seat or to stop standing up in the seat...and I would give her a gift if she listened and followed my instruction. I was more prepared this trip than any other I think ,to compensate, but it didn't mean there weren't any hiccups along the way but I was able to control her more. So there is light at the end of the tunnel but you just have to walk through a bunch of crap before you get there.
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CLM 7-18-2008 @ 11:22AM
Even before I became a parent, I was sympathetic to those traveling with kids. It's not like they are having a blast with their offspring either. The one exception? The parents that make no attempt to correct unruly offspring. If they are not at least trying to get their kid to behave and he has kicked my seat for the 100th time, I have no problems turning around and telling that kid to knock it off.
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Terri Mauro 7-18-2008 @ 11:55AM
We had the kick-the-seat problem with my son all the time, and I wasn't sure what was more annoying to the people around us, being kicked or hearing me say "Stop that!" 546 times. Our remedy, finally, was placing one parent (or another adult in our party) in the seat in front of the little guy, so that we could let him kick without the constant corrections/apologies.
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kim 7-18-2008 @ 11:58AM
I used to be that lady that thought, "OH MY GAW, do something with your monster child!" I wasn't really exposed to youngsters much in my life time and had no idea what raising children was like. Did you folks know that kids have a MUCH better grasp on the concept of "Free will" than we adults do?
Flash forward to 2007 and a 12 hour trip (7 flying 5 driving) and imagine what my 9 month old son felt like. The trip TO FL was FABULOUS, he was my perfect pudgy prince. Cooing at people, flirting, being his usual gem of a cutie.
On the way back he was coming down with his first cold courtesy of my 8769384609485 nieces and nephews and was screaming bloody murder for pretty much the entire last 2 hours of our flight. The gentleman I was sitting next to (THANK GAWD) had 4 kids of his own and offered up anything on his person he could find (HE GAVE ME HIS WATCH) to try to calm down my kid. There was a lady behind me kind enough to offer him PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS (are you kidding me? I understand it would cement his mouth shut but JEEBUS, he was 9 months old!) and all in all people were fairly understanding.
my new philosophy? (this is very VERY profound) F^ the haters!
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Nicola 7-18-2008 @ 12:34PM
Your comment made me laugh and smile. Thanks for that. And your profound new philosophy -- AMEN!
Christy 7-18-2008 @ 12:59PM
Kim, I feel you hon!! And I like the last bit of advice you gave...I'm starting to have that mind frame now.
Uly 7-18-2008 @ 1:38PM
You think you had problems?
Try getting on a plane, without an ID, with two kids who *aren't yours*. And who aren't cooperating with the nice TSA woman either.
TSA: Who's that?
Niece: Connie
TSA: And who's Connie?
Niece: *points*
TSA: Is she your mommy?
Niece: No.
TSA: Then who is she?
Niece: Why don't YOU figure it out?
Me: Honey, don't do this. We want to go home. TO MOMMY. Please stop.
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Sabreena 7-21-2008 @ 8:55PM
I have nothing but sympathy for others now. I travelled with my son when he was 3 months old and though he did well it was tough for him. I was reminded of this recently when my husband and I were on a late flight from Florida to Las Vegas. Nearby was a 3 month old who was very uncomfortable. Her parents kept switching her between them and she would sleep on and off but was having trouble. A flight attendant who was not working the flight but was sitting behind them leaned forward and politely asked if they had any benadryl to give the baby. I wanted to go back and wring her scrawny neck. The poor parents were trying very hard and she wasn't that disruptive so to suggest drugging her seemed very rude. I don't think I would have felt so violent toward the flight attendant without the experience of my own child. When travelling publicly people with children are treated like lepers out to ruin everyone elses life. I have much sympathy and expect the same or else.
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Linda 8-09-2008 @ 1:34PM
Oh yes, I have flown many, many times with my two kids--now 4 and 3. The only great thing about being a kid is you can cry about the situation--small seats, bad food, delays. Sometimes I want to cry too. Ugh. My kids were both kicking the seat in front of them and the lady turned around to say "I know your little legs are going to do this the whole flight, but could you maybe control them a bit." WTF!
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